is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
