From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
