Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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