I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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