My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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