no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
People in love make me want to vomit
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
