It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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