This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
