Dude my mom stole all your condoms
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
