You really coming over, don't trick.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
