Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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