i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
