i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
