I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
