ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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