i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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