is your mom at the bar?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
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