i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
