Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
