He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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