i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
