i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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