Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
