Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
