I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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