now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
