Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
