She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
