you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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