Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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