You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
