What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
