ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
