Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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