What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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