i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
