Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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