just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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