brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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