Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I deserve this hangover.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
