I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So much Jack, so little girl.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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