Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
