So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
