i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
