I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
