i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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