You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I can't turn off my feet"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
