Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
