She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
