Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
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