Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
