I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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