if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
